Blaugust Day 2: Recovery

Posted: August 2, 2015 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

So, you log into your game. You’re expecting a nice, peaceful evening to mellow out in town. Chat loads up, and suddenly, you see a tirade of spam covering the different colon-linked achievements. Or different movies recapped as creatures. Or, gods forbid, the jokes about Metroid being a really cool guy under his armor, or wondering why Zelda always has to save the day, or asking why it’s called the 360.


Trolling is a art. And it’s not going away anytime soon. But trolling these days is very different from what it used to be. I know, because I was definitely a troll. I *owned* trade chat on my old server. And we had some… special snowflakes. The most special kinds. The entitled ones who can still barely form a coherent word, not even mentioning a full sentence. The people who I boxed into their own arguments, and they were too dense to be able to realize anything was happening.

ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA: In Internet slang, a troll (/ˈtrl/, /ˈtrɒl/) is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people, by posting inflammatory,[1] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[2] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.[3]

Now, I come from the old school version of trolling. The ones who were raised off of mutual respect. Where the definition of “trolling” was a combination between the fishing method to leave open-ended lines for your prey to bite while drifting back and forth, or the hinted-at other origin of the phrase… “patrolling” for people who really, honestly should know better, which the phrase was shortened to ‘trolling.

So, the first part. The clickbait reaction, the kneejerk response, the obnoxious eye-rolling comments that someone simply pumps out regurgitated garbage and see who bites. ANYONE who plays WoW has seen someone ask “If it’s named Invincible, why can we see it?” or “Did anyone say [Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker]?” or the new one on the block “naxx was in wrath stfu with ur trolling”. They’re comments that channel the inner BuzzFeed. Trying to get people agitated, then get them flustered, then make them “lose” for either being baited into responding, aka “feeding a troll”, or getting tied down into an argument and becoming more and more infuriated along the way. That is the current school of trolling.

Then you have the old school trolls. The ones who targeted people who really should honestly know better. Those random users in IRC who stumbled upon a deep programming room, asked a question akin to how to set a new desktop shortcut, and were instead given instructions on how to wipe their hard drive. Hells, there’s an entire website based around the level of snark. let me google that for you is a website specifically to take someone’s outmatched request and present it to them in a relatively humiliating way. Or asking about how to accomplish something in game that, instead of asking trade chat, they could just as easily google it, or check any outside source material. The ones who ask the blatantly obvious and take advantage of the constantly repeated common knowledge, yet ALWAYS seem to ask it, over and over again? Those are the ones that “true” trolls look forward to. Give them just enough quasi-accurate information to lead them to attempting to solo a world boss. Or end up in the complete opposite side of the world from where they wanted to go. Is it rude? Sure. But so is getting upset at everyone else who figured it out for themselves, and then didn’t want to hold your hand and walk you through each step. While listening to broken english. And taking your insults because it isn’t fast enough for you.

I used to be a major troll on a smaller server, and yes, I enjoyed being the big fish in the small pond. People inevitably knew that if someone asked the same question for the third time in 10 minutes, chances are, I’d give them some kind of snark, or just enough “accurate” info to lead them out and beyond before they realized that they were being messed with. If they’re asking something along the lines of what world boss or weekly quest or whatever other thing was available, I’d probably give the right answer. But something that everyone else simply googled to figure out… well, what makes you so awesome that you can’t find the strategy for yourself, when everyone else did?

Rude, possibly. But I like to think of it more akin to reinforcing those people to become self-dependent instead of relying on random information from strangers. As the proverb says, give a man a fire, he’s warm for a night. Set a man on fire, he’s warm for the rest of his life.

So tonight’s beer is an impulse buy specifically based on how limited it is. For those of you who don’t know about Belching Beaver, they’re fantastic. Peanut Butter Stout is damned awesome on tap, mind-blowingly phenomenal from the brewery, and pretty decent in bottle. Great Lei IPA has coconut and… I think pineapple? and begs for a full hog roast and shishkebabs made with pork as the only meat on ’em. And their Horchata stout is… what the hell level of interesting. And delicious.

Tonight, however, I’m taking you to Pound Town with me. It’s their* triple IPA (weighing in at 10.3%), and the winner of the Alpha King Challenge. The ingredients list on the back of the bottle makes me chuckle: “Water, Malt, Yeast, and Hops”. And to pay homage to the creator, I’m gonna give the clifnotes version of the back of the bottle.

*Thomas Peters was a random guy, or a brewer for the company, whatever. Wanted to make a beer to enter into the challenge. Head of Belching Beaver was distracted, kinda told him to do whatever. He said he was adding 5 pounds of hops per barrel (that’s a lot) and said he was “taking this beer to pound town.” Leader dude just brushed him off and said to go with it, so he made the beer. Now Thomas Peters is their lead brewer and essentially just used the brewery to get a title-winning beer, because he can.

Now for the beer itself… For being a hop-bomb, holy gods is it delicious. Very malty and sweet on the nose (and I wish I wrote this part before the beer was almost gone). It’s definitely bitter (and I can’t name each strand of hops even on my best day), but with the malty and sweet finish to truly make it an award winner. Strong, but curvy. It’s like a Ronda Rousey of beers. I really, REALLY wish I had more in the cup to wax poetic, but on one hand you’re never gonna get this beer again, and on the other I really can’t talk about the specifics in any way to really convey a message.

BONUS ROUND!!! That’s right, tonight, you get two beer reviews for the price of… well… it’s not like you’re paying me anyways. Sometimes you want floral notes, complexity, layers. Sometimes you want depth, flavor, and something to sip and think.

And sometimes, you just have a couple bucks and want something with enough flavor to not make you gag and get you buzzed.

That’s where Trader Joe’s line of 22oz bottles enters the field. Tonight’s bomber is their Botswain Double IPA. $2.29 for the bottle, and 8.4% alcohol by volume (ABV). For this one, using a glass is simply a waste. It’s heavy, thick, almost syrupy, and barely has any hop bite outside of just tasting bitter… but between a tall can of insert-macro-crap here or a bottle of this? It’s got enough taste to almost make you think you’re classy, and it’s got more alcohol to boot. Sometimes, analyzing and savoring a beer is worthwhile. Other times, you had a long-ass day and just want to get yourself a little bit cozy before heading back in the next morning.

Well, that’s enough ramblings for me tonight. Best of luck on your endeavors, and thanks for slogging through my first giant post on here.

-Bane Falcon
“The air must be thin up there, elf (for ye are daft to come up with that plan!)” (edit: whoops, almost forgot the website!!)

  1. […] trade trolling. This was the hardest thing for me to accept, since I was most definitely known as a troll on our server. But I agree, and joined up. I stopped responding in trade, to the point of contemplating leaving […]


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